


If You're Reading This

by ami_ven



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: writerverse, Epistolary, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 11:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1603382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ami_ven/pseuds/ami_ven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you’re reading this, then I’m dead, and I’m so sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You're Reading This

**Author's Note:**

> written for LJ community "writerverse" prompts "If you'll never leave me, I'll never leave you" (Jane Rogers) & "not being afraid"
> 
> (kind-of-warning: this could be read as (future) character death, or just as a letter written 'just in case')

John, if you’re reading this, then I’m dead, and I’m so sorry. Not that you’re alive to read this, _that_ I refuse to be sorry for. But I am sorry for leaving you. I know it’s still one of the things you fear, losing the people you care about, and if there was any other way, you know I would have taken it.

When we were younger, I never thought I would be the first to go. You were always so reckless— and don’t deny it, Major General Death Wish, you just don’t have as many opportunities, anymore, or you’d still be at it. But back then, it seemed like the Wraith were going to kill us all at any minute, so I never had that much time to dwell on it.

I have the time now. And the older we’ve gotten, the more it seems like it will be me. You’re still in disgustingly good shape for a man your age, and I’m, well… They say that genius is supposed to shine brightly and burn out early, so the fact that I’ve made it this far should probably be counted as a great success.

This would be the part where I tell you how important you are to me, and how much I love you. But you already know that, and I don’t have much time to write this. Right now, you’re asleep but in a minute, you’ll realize I’m still awake and come looking for me. In case I’ve forgotten to tell you before, well, before I go… thank you, for every time you’ve come to find me. Thank you for everything, really.

I’m not afraid to die, John. I had been, you know that better than anyone, but we’ve had a long happy life, and the only thing I have to regret, after everything that’s happened, is that if you are reading this, then I’ve broken my promise and left you behind.

Obviously, I can’t know now what it is— was?— that killed me, but if I can manage it this time, if there really are clear blue skies out there, I’ll be waiting.

Just, don’t come too soon, okay?

Love,  
Rodney


End file.
